Ever feel alone in this world's mass production of relationships? Ever feel like no matter how hard you to find your way out of the dating world, you somehow get sucked back into the world's system of relationship norms?
I feel that way very often. But in this world where being 'something' with someone else is key, I find that scripture, or the Holy Bible, tells me more than what meets the standard of American cultural norms and values.
1. At one point in time, all Christians are called to be single.
2. There is a season of growth through singleness.
3. Complete singleness is meant for some and not others.
There came a point in my life where I began to question motive I had. Whether it be purchasing a new CD or deciding what to do with myself, I began to inquire on why I did these things. I finally immersed myself in scripture and found that the Christian must do all these for the glory of God. In order to do so, we must be called to things. We will all go through a period of being alone, or single. There is a time when we must embrace that period for a season. Just as there are seasons in weather, there are seasons of love relationships.
As C.S. Lewis writes about 3 of 4 of the types of love (eros-in love, storge-affection, philia-friendships) I see the period of this season. We all begin at that philia, or friendship love. The singleness from the other types of love through heterosexual desires for another person is short lived for some, and longer for others. I have been single for about 2 years. Some, have been single their entire life. God uses us different. That period of singleness should be viewed as joyful! There is a purpose behind being single. God wants us to see ourselves and who we are to become. The most dangerous thing is this thought that "I should start dating to figure out who I am and who I want to be with." The idea is dangerous because it puts the trust of determining oneself in dating. Dating will not give us answers. Only God the Father can give us directly our knowledge of who we shall marry. As said before in below blogs, that dating is for the purpose of determining if someone is right for marriage. There is no other purpose.
Finally, being married is meant for some and not others. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:6-9:
"Now as a concession,not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God,one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
In other words, it is good to remain single if God gives you that gift. But not all have the gift of singleness and self-control from the desires of marriage. It is better to be married than to let the desires of marriage to never be fulfilled.
It is my hope and my prayer, that all single men and woman of the Christian faith see the bigger picture. We are His people, a living stone of His kingdom. We all have pathways set for us. As God brought us from the womb, He planned for us a special life of His will. Part of that, is being submissive and willing to follow. We all know that singleness and relationships and marriage are a big part of our lives. Let's trust that whatever season we are in-singleness or the polar opposite-that we can trust that God will be gloried forever and forever. Amen.
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