Update: 2010

It has been one big gap since the last time I got on this to write something! One thing that has changed for me is now I am living in New Jersey. I moved from my comfort in Paragould, Arkansas, to a much different environment. I have family here so it aids in the process of me getting all settled. I am looking for a career, friendships, and church accountability. These three things are tough, but possible to achieve.

It is my hope to get work in possible things like law enforcement, legal vocation, or governmental work...or a combination of all! With the economy hurting here in NJ (just like the rest of the U.S.) I know getting a job won't happen overnight. Moreover, I am definitely concerned with finding a church. With my faith playing such a vital role in my life, I know that it's essential for me to find a local church to get involved in.

For now, I hope to get back on here and write more.


Grace & Peace

Abba Father

When I think about a father's role in a child's life, I am deeply reminded of my faith. I see how a child looks to his father and mimicks. I can remember pretending to be like my dad growing up, occasionally saying things like he did and doing particular things in the same manner. When I think about my faith in Christ, I am reminded of Jesus crying "Abba, father!" throughout scripture. "Abba" is a hebrew aramaic term that describes a close and intimate relationship with a father. By initimate, of course, I mean a relationship that is personal and essential that is within the deepest nature personal of love. Eros love is an erotic type of initimate love that I am not speaking of. I mean the type of love by C.S. Lewis' description called 'caritas' or agape love. This is the type of unconditional love that only comes from God.

When Jesus cried "Abba" he saw God the father the same way a child see's his father. The mimicked behavior, the language, and the actions, are ways in which we followed our dads and can be analoguous to Jesus and His father, God. As Christians, we follow in the footsteps of our heavenly father. When we think of loving others, we must think first of how God loves us unconditionally. God does not love us because of what we've done, but He loves us because we are in the likeness of His son Christ! Imagine if God only loved us because of what we do. That would be like a parent saying to a kid, "Child, I only love you when you don't do bad things." What kind of parent would that be? God loves us because He is our father, and when He calls us to salvation, we become in the likeness of His true son, Jesus.

Take joy in salvation because God, abba father, loves us even in times that we fail, stumble, and sin. May the peace of God and His grace & mercy be with you.


Gal. 4:6
And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!"

Denominations 101

During my stay in New Jersey for this past summer, I got to evaluate the churches in the area and really see how God is working through the different congregations. The first church I got to attend was the Tuckerton 1st Presbyterian in Tuckerton, NJ. It's a medium bodied church - filled with beautiful stain glass windows, a large wooden cross centered neatly in the front, and a beautiful pipe organ tucked in the left corner. The members of the congregation are causally dressed and the reverened wears a black dress. Although I was not accustomed with a female preacher, I thought the message was informative and scriptural. The best part of the service was partaking in the Holy Communion, or Lord's Supper. The pastor explained the meaning of taking in the supper, and sang a beautiful hymnal to the audience. The supper was intersting. Rather than pass out little plastic cups of juice and round crackers, the congregation lined up to walk up front, tear off a piece of bread from a large loaf and then dip the bread into a large cup.

I attended another Presbyterian church in East Hanover, NJ, called Kitchell Memorial Presybterian. This congregation was similar to Tuckerton's (small quaint atomsphere with friendly fellowship, female reverend, structure of worship, et. al). Overall, my NJ Presbyertian experience was informative, but yet somewhat disappointing. Although the PCA (Presbyterian Church of America) has some disagreement about women being head of a church, there are many congregations that are very biblical in allowing only men to be elders and pastors as instructed in the book of Acts. I did gain some insight on a few things I could encourage my home church towards. (1) The Kitchell Memorial Presbyterian church had a moment for the members to share what God is doing in their life at that moment and also share any praises or prayer requests. Passing a microphone around, many congregates talked about their personal issues as well as how God has blessed them. When it got to me, I simply welcomed myself as a visitor from Arkansas wanting to see what God was doing in the lives of people in NJ. I was flocked with questions like "what is Arkansas like?" and "are you a reverened?". (2) The fellowship and the method involved (saying "Christ be with you" or "Peace be with you" to one another) is very humbling.


Wanting to go more conservative, I attended a Baptist church called Calvary Baptist in Little Egg Harbor, NJ. As a much larger congregation, I found the neatly designed church not as subtle as many of the Orthodox churches I've attended. With big screens and fancy electronics, the church atomsphere was geared towards the contemporary crowd. The fellowship was not as open; members stayed in their general seating area and said their 'hellos' and chatted for a brief while. One could hear members talking about Aunt Sally's health to how bad the crabbing has been. I could tell people did not know I was a guest; as the congregation was numereous. The worship through music was a mixture of traditional patriotic songs (attended near July 4) with some typical songs by David Crowder and Third Day. The pastor, Mike, gave a powering message over the social issues in America such as homosexuality and euthanasia. I would have hoped to hear more about Jesus' gospel and how it applies to these issues. The service did take a humbing twist at the end. The entire congregation all held hands in a big circle in the church and sang a benediction.

I gained some insight from Calvary's church in that they had great mission field oppurtunities. I liked hearing Pastor Mike talk about the lost in their own small towns and area cities, and how they wish to reach to their needs. Although theologically I did not line up directly with Calvary compared to the Presbyterian churches (excluding female pastoral lineup), I enjoyed the two times I attended the church.

Overall, I would rate my church experience combined at an 80/100. I know that there is no such thing as the perfect church. I think Calvary Baptist is a great place for a conservative christian to dig their hands into the mission field. Those Presbyterian churches would most likely not attract younger adults like myself but rather an older crowd. I truly believe this 101-type of experience I got was very informative and such a blessing. I encourage folks to seek out and visit local churches to see what God is doing there.

Verbal Processing: Change.

Today, I've been thinking about much about myself during this summer vacation here in New Jersey. I am not the same person now as I was the the last summer of 2008. I know we all change in some way over a period of time. We change our clothing styles and how we fix our hair. I feel the change is spiritual. It is something only God influences.

My outlook on things such as patience and lust (my two biggest struggles) has completely evolved. Mind you, I still do struggle with these things but not as heavy as the years past. I can see how God is calling me to something bigger. It is something more than I can imagine. The way He is bringing me back to the likeness of His son is becoming more clear and within reach than ever before. My struggles are two that are very common within all races, all sexes, all nationalities, and all cultures. I cannot hide the things that hinder me. One big change is the way I deal with these things. I thank God that I am suffering as I do for the better glory of Christ.

Another big influence of change starts with my career. I have always enjoyed studying law; whether it be criminal or constitutional law, I enjoy studying it. After speaking with an attorney who takes an associate pastor position at a local church in Paragould, Arkansas, I begin to see how all things within any career work together. In just about any career, Christians can reach someone within their vocation. I have always wanted to fit into a career that makes me a light in a dark place. I now realize that every job - even ministerial - has darkness of some kind. An attorney can serve Christ with such validity and ability as a pastor.

God showing me patience has broadened my perspective in all things. There are so many things I want in my life - marriage, good career, serving within a church - that I have little to understand how to accomplish. God has allowed me to struggle to make me see the perspective of His will. I must first serve Him through whatever I do next. I will be job searching soon in Paragould, Jonesboro, and Little Rock in Arkansas. I truly believe that God will show me the correct pathway in choosing a job. From there, I want to meditate more on scripture to determine if law school is right for me. This is all my way of verbally developing what to do next, or in other words, this writing is my way of both communicating with readers and myself. Just by me sitting down right now writing this, I am processing new ideas and desires.

All this may seem mundane and mediocre. For me, it is not. I am not the same. I have decided to follow Christ. And although I have sat through darkness for such a long time, God is still my light. I have made many impulsive and imprudent decisions in the past and said many things that have damaged and given others a negative view of me. Many say we should forget our past lives. I think to a point this is dangerous. If we don't know who we used to be, then we will have no clue on what we wish to be.

It is interesting to me how people change from year to year. I encourage everyone to seek Christ in all things. In all things, pray for a changed heart. I am happy of my change, and I cannot wait to see where God has me next summer of 2010.

Jesus for Sale

He is not your home-boy as the shirt states; nor is he the co-pilot as the ridiculous bumper sticker implies. Jesus didn't come to start a fashion line. He didn't suffer the most excruciating death by crucifixion to have his name simply put on a bracelet reading "WWJD?" Churches find that marketing Jesus using funny t-shirt sayings and silly slogans work the best to bring in congregates. Jesus is not for sale.

He is our Lord, our Master and our Savior. We use capitalistic principles to share his message of forgiveness and grace; how ludicrous! It is okay to wear a WWJD? shirt and bulletin boards with sayings of Jesus plastered on advertizements. But we simply limit ourselves to this cultural means of getting messages out. We must realize that Jesus is not for sale. It is harmful because the world views Jesus as a marketing figure over a savior. He can be used in Family Guy episodes to play magic tricks and make crude jokes, and our culture loves it. We feed off this marketed Jesus like he is suppose to give us humor and good charm.

Jesus was not a magical Hoodini-type nor was he a quick witted comedian. Stop looking at God like He is a side-kick or a fun name to put on your facebook religious status. Jesus Christ showed us how to have a relationship with God, not how to make us chuckle at bulletin boards. As church bodies, we must stop using the market to make Jesus appealing and worldly lovable. He didn't come to entertain or give a silly list of dos & don'ts. He died for sin and gave us life. So, why do we try to sell him?

The Error of Free Thought

When the French philospher René Descartes said "cogito, ergo sum" or in English "I think therefore I am" , he was engaging in a free thought system. This free thought notion assumes that whatever thinks, must exist. See how this can become erroneous? It does in the way that the agent (thinker) creates assumptions that somehow create truths. What is my point?

I believe there is very little evidence of complete free thought. Think of something right now. I would almost guarantee that your thought did not freely come from nothing. Mankind is not able to create validity. He is not within his power to simply makeup a reality. Something must create a thought. Something must give a thought. If I say I am a complete free thinker who believes that the death penalty is a valid resource based on evidence and statistics, then I have not used complete free thought. I have used someone elses thoughts and opinions to lead towards a conclusion. Such is not absolute free thought.

My issue with many who believe Christianity is an ill towards society because it lacks free thought is their own inconsistencies. The description of freethought is a fallacy in itself: "Freethought is a philosophical viewpoint that holds that beliefs should be formed on the basis of science, logic, and reason, and should not be influenced by authority, tradition, or any other dogma. " Why? Is this not a limitation of people to use their choice? If absolute free thought is based on evidence by other human beings, is that not an influence of authority? Absolutely.

My conclusion is this: Nothing in this world is not influenced by something else. One cannot concluse that a Christian is less of a freethinker and open to others than an atheist. Every group is exclusive. In other words, each group believes that everyone should beleive what they believe. There is no such thing in this world as inclusive people, or absolutists for 'freeness.' Here is a good example by Timothy Keller in the book "Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism" :

"Imagine that one of board members of the local Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Community Center announces, "I've had a religious experience and now I believe homosexuality is a sin." As weeks go by, he persists in making that assertion. Imagine that a board member of the Alliance Against Same-Sex Marriage announces "I discovered that my son is gay, and I think he has the right to marry his partner." No matter how personally gracious and flexible the members of each group are, the day will come when each group will have to say 'You must step off the board because you don't share a common commitment with us.'"

See, both of these groups may believe they are free in their thought and open. While one may seem more inclusive and free, it is not. Each one of these groups of people are based on ideas and thoughts and beliefs. For such groups that consider themselves more inclusive and valid because they believe they are freethinking absolutists, I caution them. Free thought must come from some past teaching of folks like Decartes. Think of my final illustration:

If free thinking was such a neccessary foundation, then we should rid of laws, education, and social norms. We should allow children to freely choose, not their parents, on whether they want education. We should allow eveyone to decide if laws such as stealing gasoline are wrong, and not a governing body. If a woman wants to walk topless down a street corner in front of young children, it should be okay under the complete free thinking system.

See the error? I am not suggesting that thinking for yourself is a negative thing. But I again caution those who want to exclude Christians for being ignorant because we base our foundation of beliefs on God. We are no more exclusive than them.

Grace and peace be with you.

Tis the Season to Be Single

Ever feel alone in this world's mass production of relationships? Ever feel like no matter how hard you to find your way out of the dating world, you somehow get sucked back into the world's system of relationship norms?

I feel that way very often. But in this world where being 'something' with someone else is key, I find that scripture, or the Holy Bible, tells me more than what meets the standard of American cultural norms and values.

1. At one point in time, all Christians are called to be single.
2. There is a season of growth through singleness.
3. Complete singleness is meant for some and not others.

There came a point in my life where I began to question motive I had. Whether it be purchasing a new CD or deciding what to do with myself, I began to inquire on why I did these things. I finally immersed myself in scripture and found that the Christian must do all these for the glory of God. In order to do so, we must be called to things. We will all go through a period of being alone, or single. There is a time when we must embrace that period for a season. Just as there are seasons in weather, there are seasons of love relationships.

As C.S. Lewis writes about 3 of 4 of the types of love (eros-in love, storge-affection, philia-friendships) I see the period of this season. We all begin at that philia, or friendship love. The singleness from the other types of love through heterosexual desires for another person is short lived for some, and longer for others. I have been single for about 2 years. Some, have been single their entire life. God uses us different. That period of singleness should be viewed as joyful! There is a purpose behind being single. God wants us to see ourselves and who we are to become. The most dangerous thing is this thought that "I should start dating to figure out who I am and who I want to be with." The idea is dangerous because it puts the trust of determining oneself in dating. Dating will not give us answers. Only God the Father can give us directly our knowledge of who we shall marry. As said before in below blogs, that dating is for the purpose of determining if someone is right for marriage. There is no other purpose.

Finally, being married is meant for some and not others. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:6-9:
"Now as a concession,not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God,one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

In other words, it is good to remain single if God gives you that gift. But not all have the gift of singleness and self-control from the desires of marriage. It is better to be married than to let the desires of marriage to never be fulfilled.

It is my hope and my prayer, that all single men and woman of the Christian faith see the bigger picture. We are His people, a living stone of His kingdom. We all have pathways set for us. As God brought us from the womb, He planned for us a special life of His will. Part of that, is being submissive and willing to follow. We all know that singleness and relationships and marriage are a big part of our lives. Let's trust that whatever season we are in-singleness or the polar opposite-that we can trust that God will be gloried forever and forever. Amen.