Love Defined

Today I was sitting in Caffe Buono located in the heart of Jonesboro, Arkansas, to enjoy a cup of coffee and fellowship among friends. I began to people watch and was struck at the comparisons of love expressed between those of a marriage and those in a courtship (dating). I saw two sets of couples- I assumed they were because of their physical contact- embracing one another differently but in a particular pattern. The "courters" (those in a courtship; dating relationship) sat close, would touch each other on the face and shoulders, and they held hands. The married couples seemed to be more into the mix of fellowship, saying hello to acquaintances while the "courters" conversed amongst themselves. It hit me as I soaked in this that we each define love so incredibly different. I started to wonder if love could be objectively defined.

Webster's dictionary establishes love as "unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another" and "strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties; attraction based on sexual desire; affection and tenderness felt by lovers; affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests." While these are all valid, I believe more can come from love than one expects. Love is not defined by man since our abilities to comprehend its mysteries are limited. We are not necessary objective rational beings but rather beings who try to rationalize objectivity's. Love is an subjective item, or in other words, it is a truth experienced different among individuals.

All of human kindness, compassion, and joy can be defined within love. Kindness is a state of affection through action. Compassion means literally "to suffer with" and joy is a state of happiness or felicity. Love is so broad it cannot be defined by a small definition. The couples sitting in the coffee shop all had there different expressions of love. The young boyfriend and girlfriend expressed their kindness through physical touch while the love expressed by the married couple was seen joy as they appeared content and well.

As for me, it reflected on my hopes for a Christian marriage. Considering what my last blog essayed, I say it played out in life at the coffee shop.I may be criticized for what I hope for but so be it. I seek not the type of love that is given so cheaply that one merely "thinks" they have love for me; no, rather, I would aspire for such kinship that Christ unites me with a Christian woman with the same compassions for serving God. God will deliver me a girl that I doubt knows now, as me the same, that one day our friendship will blossom into courtship the same way a small seed with some rain and sunshine blooms to a beautiful root to then a flower. She and I will both understand our friendship and aspire for more, as we both understand that one must befriend before courting.I do not know the name of my destined wife, nor her location. I don't know whether she likes italian food or enjoys golf games. I know her faith. I know she will be, as I am, fearful of a decision of courtship. But I know the Lord is sovereign and we are not. I know her longings for the Lord. I will know she is a woman that has such the beauty of Christ, her soul longs for the word of the Lord. Her purity and her love exists through her that one can see the love of God flow through her attributes. Oh, how peaceful the day shall be when I am able to tell this woman my love and hers in return. How joyful the day we realize that our friendship should be that growing seed! Christ gave himself as a fragrant offering (Esphesians 5:2) and did this as an act of love. It was defined as a sacrifice of oneself. So shall I emphasize, marrying this woman as uniting with her as a sacrifice of my adolescence into adulthood. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh according to Esphesians 5:31. Scripture is so profoundly mysterious yet so definite in explaining love. I shall love my wife the way Christ loved his people and his church. My defined love should be without blemish, the same way Christ had no spots when he sacrificed himself for us. Both male and female God created as equals; we shall submit to one another out of reverence to Christ (Esp. 5:21). How glorious the day God presents me with the knowledge of who I will have this with!

Sound to good to be true some may afford to me. I think it would be a miracle worth waiting for. I will admit, I fear the courting world. I must take a leap of faith on the grounds that I will not hinder my cause. Worldly relationships have destroyed the foundation of human love. We somehow believe that we date for fun and for pleasure; this idea, I will not be persuaded to follow. I do believe in love through the miracle of God's divine work. Yes, we can believe in miracles. I believe when two strangers are united together in Christian friendship, courtship, then marriage, the miracle and mysterious will of God is developed to such an definition of the love only He can deliver through His almighty, gracious, and merciful love.

(For a good read about love, relationships, and similar topics read "Boy Meets Girl" by Joshua Harris)